Saturday, December 6, 2008

In Loving Memory


Today my Dad will celebrate his 2nd Birthday in Heaven. I have no idea how it has been two years. It seems like maybe a year ago when we spent 15 days in the hospital with him. Yet is seems like a lifetime ago that I spoke to him.  I am sure that anyone who has lost a loved one knows exactly what I am talking about.

My Dad was a stubborn man. He would be the first to tell you this too. He had not been feeling well. Not bad, just a case of the flu or so we thought. He was having some pain in his arm, but he had just ripped out the toilet in his bathroom to replace the floor, so it made sense that his arm was sore.
On Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2006 he suffered from a heart attack. My (then 11yr old) niece found him on the floor and went to get my Grandma. (thinking that her Grandpa was doing push ups. My Dad would NEVER do push ups) (btw. my Dad lived with his Mom and my niece helping to care for both of them) My Grandma called 911, after trying to help my Dad back onto the bed. They arrived just after my sister showed up and just before I did. He flat-lined twice before leaving the house, once in the front yard, and once or twice more on the way to the hospital.
Once there he was taken immediately into surgery. I can not remember exactly what was done to him. He had a double bypass I think. One artery, I remember, was completely blocked. I can not remember what else. He came through the surgery ok, but remained unconscious. He was put into ICU. Where we waited. On friday (Nov 24, the day after Thanksgiving) the cardiologist ordered an EEG. Dad had very little brain activity. It was decided to make no decision then and wait it out over the weekend and do another EEG on Monday. Nothing happened over the weekend. Monday came, the EEG was done and he had even less brain activity. It is still hard for me to accept or admit that my Dad was brain dead. (if you knew him, this would make ALL the sense in the world) We had prayed and prayed and prayed, but God's will was most definitely different than ours. The decision was made by the entire family that Dad would not want to live by means of a machine. There was no doubt in my mind that we were making the right decision, but it was still the hardest decision I ever had to help make in my life. 
The life support was removed and Dad was moved to another floor of the hospital to the Palliative Care Unit, where the family was welcome to come and go and stay as they please. We were a permanent fixture to that ward for the next 10 days. The Dr's. had originally only given Dad a day or two, once being removed from the life support. But being my Dad he defied their expectations in his true fashion. Though he never regained consciousness, he was going to die in his own time, rather than when the Dr. said he would. (we all know this was God's timing, but I am sure to my Dad, it was all his decision) He only passed away AFTER the Dr. stopped giving an educated guess as to when it would happen. His cardiologist was an elderly man with years and years and years and years of experience.
Dad also only passed AFTER his primary care Dr. (that was assigned to him) was fired by the family.
I miss my Dad everyday that passes. (more and more each day)
This afternoon we will go to the cemetery to "visit" and take balloons for CJ to "send" to Papaw Bob.

Happy 2nd Birthday DAD. We love you!!!

Thank you for letting me talk about my Dad today. It has helped to remember what a strong man he was, even at his weakest moments in life.
I was especially close to my Dad as he raised me and gave up a lot to do just that, after my Mom left us when I was just 8 yrs old. I was the light of his life and he mine. (I will touch more on that later)

15 ?'s, comments or concerns:

He And Me + 3 said...


What a blessing to know that your Father is in Heaven with Jesus. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, he sounds like a very special man!

Katie said...

Kelly, your dad sounds like a very special and wonderful man. What a blessing to have a close relationship with your dad. I do too, and wouldn't trade it for the world!

Susie said...

Thanks for that touching memory of your Dad Kelly. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sounds like a beautiful way for you to honor an important relationship.
Take care, and have a good weekend.

McCrakensx4 said...

Thanks for sharing such a special man in your life with us. I am sure he is waiting for you in Heaven. May your memories keep him alive. Thinking of you.

Momof3 said...

Very touching post. I'm sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a wonderful man. He had to be, he raised you.

Florida Girl said...

Kelly, I can't imagine the longing you must have for your dad. I adore my dad & I can't imagine my life without him. You must miss him ALOT. Though it doesn't take away your ache, it is great to know that you will get to be with him again. I'm thinking of you. Jessica

McCrakensx4 said...

I have something for you at my blog..come on over!

Keli said...

Kelly - Your Dad sounds like an amazing and a wonderful Father! My mom passed away in 06 from a stroke. I don't really like to say to anyone, "I know what you are going through" but I kind of do. I'm just so happy that we will see them again someday! {{{hugs}}} xo Keli

Keli said...

I have something for you at my blog!

Heather said...

Kelly- I am so sorry about your Dad. I know you must miss him so much, but also have comfort that he is in heaven with Jesus. I am saying a prayer of comfort for you. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Wow! What a really great man and what a special way to celebrate his death by a Heavenly Birthday. Great idea. I know that God is comforting you in the days ahead. Great post. Really what I needed to bring me out of a funk!!!

Davisix said...

What a beautiful and heartfelt post. It made my heart smile in a warm and fuzzy way. Thanks for that and for sharing your dad with us. xo Ang

Nancy said...

My heart is with you, Kelly, and as are my prayers and hugs :) Nancy

Elaine said...

What a beautiful post. Hard for me to read, since I can really relate. Your father sounded like an amazing man..

blessedmomto7 said...

Tears are flowing as I am imagining just how you feel. I am still blessed to have my daddy but his age becomes more apparent each time I see him. Thank you for reminding me to call my dad and tell him I love him!